Pop-Culture Slang

DISCLAIMER ALERT!

Some of the content in the following post may potentially be offensive to some readers while at the same time hysterical to others. Continue reading at your own risk, understanding that I did not create the definitions used!

In saying that, let me set the scene. As you may or may not recall, Grayson and I traveled to New Orleans two weekends ago with our friends the Costanza's (insert any Seinfeld comment here) to watch the Saints first pre-season game. With it being a Friday night game we did our best to get out of town early enough to beat the Baton Rouge and NOLA traffic. Unfortunately and fortunately we didn't do a very good job because we got stuck in traffic! I say unfortunately because due to the traffic we were a tad late to the game and missed the singing of the national anthem by a really talented first grader. I say fortunately because we were able to increase our vocabulary and add a new slang term to our repertoire.

Being stuck in traffic affords you the opportunity to people watch, which I love. So imagine this if you will, we're stuck in non-moving traffic parked next to another young couple to our left and behind an interesting car to our front. As we peer uncomfortably over toward the young couple and make eye contact, we see that they are straining confusedly at the car in front of us. We immediately do the same and see below.

Since we had some time on our hands we decided to try to figure out what the heck was on this guy's head. Guesses such as "P Diddy" were offered while we waited to get as close to the car as possible to read this fancy shave job. Upon getting our car as close as we could without wrecking, we prayed for this young passenger to look either right or left so we could decipher his message. Upon him turning to the left we read "SWAMP" ...hmm ... that's weird. But without him turning to the right, we remained confused. In what felt like forever, but was really only three minutes, this "Monet" thankfully turned to his right, allowing us to read "DONKEY". Wait, what? We waited this whole time for a stupid phrase such as Swamp Donkey? We then proceeded to try to guess why someone in their right mind would choose some of the worst words in the English language to stick together and then inscribe on their head. Well thank goodness for Sam Costanza and modern day technology. We immediately (more like 10 minutes later) thought to use his iphone and google swamp donkey to see if we were somehow missing something. Boy were we ... the official urban definition of "swamp donkey" is as follows:

Swamp Donkey: (noun)

1. This species lurks in the depths of the bar and club scene . Tell tale signs of a swamp donkey are many and varied, including the wearing of Granny underwear, tight shirts exposing their fat disgusting sloth bodies, and a face that looks like a rotten bee's nest.

2. A very ugly, usually fat girl who hangs around in bars and clubs waiting to sexually assault males who are too drunk to defend themselves
To use in a sentance: Dang, look at that swamp donkey!

WhAt? Are you joking? I believe the humor in that moment was mostly due to the eloquent delivery made by Sam when enlightening us of this definition and the horrid descriptions used. You can guess what we did upon realizing this ... roll down our windows and immediately inform the nice young couple next to us what was penned on the guy's head. They were equally confused and aghast.

I'll leave you with some of our thoughts ...

1) Why would you do this to yourself? 2) Surely, he lost a bet. 3) How did they even know that term existed? 4) Who made up that horrible term in the first place? 5) He probably paid a lot of money to get that done because it can't be easy to put that many words on one person's head. 6) Surely, he lost a bet!

Oh the things you'll see in New Orleans, La!