The Finale

Where do I even begin? Probably by admitting that I am tired, emotionally that is. Yesterday was an emotional roller coster for me. I was full of so much anticipation waiting for last night's show to finally air, then when I realized Brad would propose to Emily I was filled with so much excitement only to immediately feel disappointed in the fact that Emily was a) not wearing her engagement ring and b) slightly cold and distant toward Brad during the ATFR show. Then I felt embarrassed and hurt for Brad b/c he obviously loves this girl and you can tell she isn't completely sold on him yet. It just broke my heart. Then, finally, I felt relieved to find out that the next Bachelorette will be Ashley H. Not that I was rooting for her or anything, I just wasn't sure I could handle another season of Ashley S.'s crying. So, hopefully you can see why I am feeling so drained today.
I thought the finale was pretty good. I hope that Chantal will get some closure after watching the last episode. Did anyone else catch the fact that Brad never once initiated a kiss with her during their last few days together? It was pretty telling to those of us viewing from home, but obviously tough for her to pick up on during the show. I also hope that Emily cuts Brad some slack when she watches b/c you can completely tell that he was avoiding PDA's with Chantal. We first noticed this when Chantal met the fam. Brad wasn't affectionate with her while she was talking to his family, he kept fidgeting with his hands and didn't really reassure her at all. He basically "threw her to the wolves" compared to the cottling and reassuring he did for Emily during the same date. We thought it was neat because Brad knew that opening up is tough for Emily, but he also knew how important it was that she make a strong impression on his family so he did everything he could to make her feel comfortable so she would be more willing to open up and connect with his family. I think that approach worked well for him.

Can anyone say tearjerker though? I swear Grayson's eyes welled with tears during the family dinner when she brought up the accident, her daughter etc ... We noticed that Brad was extremely protective of her, often times making himself the target of an uncomfortable moment in order to shield Emily from experiencing it herself. The way Brad's brother Chad described Emily as "poised" was spot-on. I've been looking for the right word to describe her and that is it. I loved how he said there is a difference between being shy and being poised; I was glad he identified that trait about her.

We were thrilled to find out that Brad would propose to Emily, but not so thrilled to see Chantal hurt in the process. I was also less than thrilled at the outfit choices that both women chose for the ceremony. I think they have both done better in the wardrobe and hair departments this season. Anyways, I was on cloud nine after the proposal ... only to come crashing down while watching the ATFR ceremony. All along I've been saying that it concerns me that we haven't heard Emily & Brad talk about moving to Austin and she confirmed my fears last night. I'm glad to see that they are a "real" couple and are having to work out some of their differences, but I felt sooooo bad for Brad. It's like he finally took a leap of faith and put his trust in this woman only to have her retract and possibly sabatoge something good. I think last night's ATFR made me the most uncomfortable I've been all season. Just watching Brad sit there and have to listen to Emily talk about his temper, how she wouldn't move to Austin right then and then give a long and drawn out response to the question of whether or not she will marry him, broke my heart. It was horribly uncomfortable!!! I thought he took it like a man though and just goes to show how much he loves her. It's going to take some fighting to convince her that he cares for her, but hopefully now that the show is done they can get settled into being in a "real" relationship.

Also, I thought it was interesting that she took offense to being portrayed as boring on the show. I don't know if she made that diagnosis herself or maybe has been reading some blogs, but it was interesting to hear her address that issue. Also, did anyone else notice the group therapy that was going on on-stage? It was like a support group right there before our eyes. Way to go ABC. They are doing everything in their power to make sure that these relationships last! I don't know why I get so involved in these shows and these people's relationships, but I do. I really hope it works out for Brad this time. I feel like he gave it his all this time and really put himself out there, so I hope he gets a good reward in the end.

And now, I begin the countdown until May 23rd when Ashley H. begins her season of the Bachelorette!